Zenith to Nadir - My Mindspace

Missing Malaysia

2010-01-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

Digging through the pictures from my past life, this photo stood out as a classic reminder of the good times I had in Malaysia, the numerous trips down to the Twin Tower area, multiple customer offices and our own office on the 55th Floor. Malaysia is not just vibrant, but also has a distinct level of energy associated with it.

I sure will miss my frequent trips to KL, operating there and working there. All in the game!

Nodding Donkey

2007-12-25T00:14:00.001+08:00

If anyone were to ask what the next big thing in life was, I would say Brunei. That’s the next challenge, and I hope that the competition isn’t reading this. A trip to this Sultanate was quite an experience. And the more I hear from colleagues who have operated in this market before, the more interesting it becomes.

About Brunei – not many of my friends knew where it was and what was it known for. It’s a sultanate with a very rich and old history, dating back to many centuries. The kingdom is ruled by the same dynasty since fifteenth century and to me looks like a good example of how a non-elected form of governance can still do good and in fact better than a democracy. Plus, if you have gas at only 50cents per liter, I will never complain for sure.

Anyway, I started off with my trip to Brunei and ended up talking politics. It was quite a feeling to stay up on the highest floor of the tallest building in this town of Seria in Brunei. You could see the offshore oil-plaforms from the balcony of the room. That was quite an experience. By the way, I only stayed on the seventh floor! And I finally got to see a real nodding donkey (other than the human version;-) ) in life.

(Nodding Donkey - Courtesy Wikepedia en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pumpjack)

A Bridge to Oblivion

2007-12-16T19:56:00.000+08:00

A department retreat to Langkawi in Malaysia – a perfect way to ease out of the Singapore life and get back connected to your self – it’s a place where one sees the elements of nature at their pristine best. I was obviously lucky to get two trips to this place – one to make arrangements for the trip, and the other when the whole party traveled together. And amazing it was both the times.

What struck me most was how blue the water was, how azure the skies were, how inspiring the cool breeze was, and above all how beautiful the song of the rain was! These are all strong experiences in life, and also the basic determinants to the quality of life one lives. I have always believed that experiences, however weird, should be strong, because one's life can not be enriched enough if he hasn’t tread the path of living through strong experiences, picking the good memories out of them and never forgetting the lessons from the bad experiences. That’s also perhaps the reason why I am in love with where I am and what I do. Asia offers, or at least has offered me some very strong experiences - diverse, weird, at times driving me crazy, but it is only these emotions – certain vibrations that stimulate the brain to release some chemicals which make us feel the way we do – which I now treasure the most among all the other things I have done living in Singapore for the last three years. It would be wrong to say that I could not have experienced these strong experiences had I lived elsewhere, but Singapore is very important in life because it is here that I actually learned to look at things the way I do today. Had I lived elsewhere, may be, I perhaps would never have developed this attitude towards the manifestations of the external world.

Anyway, other than the beauty of the Berjaya resort, I was also amazed by the cable car which goes from the sea level all the way to 700+ meters – more of a giant escalator than anything else. And underneath you can gaze at the virgin forests which have been left untouched for ages – that is what is nature in its purest form – not very common to find today, other than perhaps in Brunei where I went two weeks back, but that’s for a future update. Up at the highest point, there is a suspension bridge between two hills. Though I am a civil engineer, I never felt any bridge other than the Golden Gate to be fascinating. But this feeling was to change here – this bridge was no engineering marvel, but I somehow felt fathoming the philosophy of bridging, and how fundamental civil engineering was to the needs of mankind.

Standing at the bridge, I could see a lone ship in the distant horizon, almost still, as if it too were awed by the depth and immense of the ocean whose surface it was kissing. Then arose the wind from the ocean and as it gained height the water vapour condensed out, turning into mist and then clouds (Thanks to Prof. Lynn Hlidemann, and her Atmospheric Chemistry class at the university on these concepts). And then the it was clouds everywhere, if I ever got to the heaven, this is how it would feel, when you can not see the ground beneath your feet, but only feel puffs of cotton flowing through you and stirring up even your most dormant senses. It was poetic, it was beautiful, and it stayed this way for about twenty minutes. Then the sun came out and the dream was snapped, and I could see that ship again. I realize that this event, in a way, summed up the story of our lives – when we are young, we have a ship that we see on the horizon – this is the dream, the destiny, the personal legend that we want to walk towards and achieve. But as we grow older, the haze comes in and we, in some way or the other, tend to lose sight of what we sought when we started the journey. It happens to everyone, at least at certain moments of time, if not eternally. There tends to be a realization, somewhere deep within, that that ship was just a dream, a mirage that never existed, and we tend to get complacent with whatever we have achieved, and lead a “regular” life, until the sun comes out again and along with it sinks in the realization that had we persisted, just a bit, just one more time before giving it all up, we could still have seen the ship and worked towards getting on to it. But most of the times, the ship does not remain there any more. At the horizon, it doesn’t take much for the ship to tilt over to the other side of the earth, going under our line of sight. Standing on the bridge, when the clouds disappeared, I still got a glimpse of my ship, but in the real life…

(Pictures at http://picasaweb.google.com/ashishmishi/LangkawiMalaysiaTripBerjayaBeachResort)

Bangkok

2006-09-08T13:18:00.001+08:00

It's been more than two years since I left the shores of India on 27th May 2004. Since then, I have had to stay in these cities, for periods varying from 2 days to 3 months - San Francisco, Denver, Chicago, Dubuque, Taipei, Seoul and not to forget my second home Singapore. But, I had to travel to Bangkok – in the land of smiles, to have the experience of my lifetime. And amazing it was!

Well, I was to go to Bangkok to see someone, I mean to meet my distributor for two days. I left on a Saturday morning, thinking I could have the entire Saturday and Sunday to go around Bangkok. The deep Buddhist culture and ancient temples were of particular interest to me, though there is a lot more 'interesting' stuff you can do in Bangkok. Temples of Wat Po and Wat Arun were on my list. So, there I was standing in the long immigration queue at the Bangkok airport after a short flight from Singapore. Visiting new places has always been of interest to me and that's something I love about my job – visiting new people, new places, different culture and food, yet same business ethics.

Anyway, after spending a memorable time at Wat Po, when I took the cab to go to my hotel - the Royal River Hotel on the banks of the Bangkok River, I was robbed! The cab driver sped away with my bag inside the cab and my banging his car or chasing him in another cab were of no use. I had to pay 100Baht to the cab driver who took me on a 3minute chasing stint across the river and back!
After much deliberation and yelling my throat the hotel security I was directed to the Tourist Police Station in the city. Upon getting my complaint registered, the policeman put forth a plastic box on the table which read --"Your donations would help the tourists in need!". That was the craziest thing I had ever come across. I did not mince words with him and made some bold comments about this culture of theirs. He coldly replied that that's how things were and asked me to leave the spot immediately, adding that no further action would be taken on my complaint.

From a soldier to a martyr

2006-08-24T16:44:00.000+08:00

The battle continued, the bullets rained,
We charged the enemy with the same.
The war was over; we looked for who fell,
Some were aggressors, some were our friends.
Our friends had given what they had to give,
Indeed, they died so that we may live.

These are borrowed lines I read many years ago, sometime during the Kargil invasion in the year 1999. For one, it shows the sacrifice which the bold, young men make for the country in the face of any threat to the country. They give their lives, making the biggest sacrifice, in line with their duty. I remember reading about the Indian Express donating money to construct a war memorial in Chandigarh. It was inaugurated by our President last week. The memorial has the names of the martyrs written in golden words, and there is still unfilled space for the future brave men who would stand the line of fire, putting country before their own lives. India has the bravest army. Yes. But it is not easy for the near and dear ones of these men, spending the rest of their lives warming their hearts with their son’s, husband’s or brother’s courage. One has to know what is it to lose any member of the family in war, just to feel the pinch of it. The Government pins medals on the chests of those who survive and for others who didn’t live to bask in the glory of their courage, it’s their wives who do the formalities. And what happens next? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The cover-stories on war heroes give way to the political debacles and we are back to our business – our office, our work, our career, our family, our friends, and everything that to do with ‘us’.

Searching for her husband’s name on the glory list of martyrs, the wife of one of the soldiers said – “haan, wo hain” (yes, he’s there). That’s her only consolation. And there are many more, who don’t make it to the glory list, don’t get award the Param Veer Chakras….and there are some who don’t even live to see live missiles chasing their planes – for they die in the MiG crashes. Even death does not come in the glory of the battlefield for many.

Office of Profit

2006-08-17T11:12:00.000+08:00

India is a complex country, not just in terms of being a melting pot of ordinary people of different cultures and languages, but also in terms of the different type of people who run the show. The latter are usually referred to as the politicians. They are a diverse lot – someone is conferred a doctorate from Oxford and Harvard, while others have earned PhD’s from Tihar jail - criminal backgrounds, mafia connections, impending corruption cases, all add weight to their CV’s. Yes, they are a diverse lot, but one issue saw them stand united – the office of Profit Bill. I can’t recollect the last time I saw Lok Sabha pass a bill with this acuity and speed. They passed the bill within 7 hours of debate – on a score of 230-for and 71-againsts. Impeccable! What is this about? What can it do to the country, if implemented? – Well parliamentarians are not supposed to hold office-of-profit, and only a few offices are exempted. This is a quote from the Indian Express -

Article 102(1)(a) of the Constitution says that a person shall be
disqualified for being chosen as, and for being, a Member of either House of
Parliament:
• If he holds any office of profit under the Govt (Centre or
state) other than an office declared by Parliament by law not to disqualify its
holder.
• An office of profit need not necessarily confer pecuniary benefit;
it is sufficient if it bestows administrative and executive powers.

The Election Commission listing the list of defaulters -including Sonia Gandhi and Somnath Chatterjee – and nearly 56 Members of Parliament in total has prompted the government to swiftly change the law. The government brought in a bill in the previous session, exempting “selective” positions from Office of Profit – intended to shield its MP’s from the Left front, and remain in power with their support. There is no reasoning from government to support this list of selective offices in selective states. Anyway, everybody knows this.

What has added steam to the debate is the President rejecting the bill and suggesting changes, and the parliament again passing the bill in its unchanged form to the President.
So, what can the President do now? A billion dollar question! Well, he has to sign it, no other go – that’s what the constitution says. But then in this tussle between the Executive and the Legislature, how can the latter have the upper hand. If Kalam doesn’t have any other option, he should leave the office of President of India with grace and dignity that he as stood by in the last 75 years. I can never forget my undergraduate days when he was teaching and living in our university campus. Every day he would go for morning walk and he would acknowledge my “good morning” in the traditional muslim way, waving his hand in front of his face. Never before had my greeting ever been recognized this way. And these “goodmornings” happened pretty regularly between us.

I can never forget the day he first came to Anna University and spoke to a packed house at Vivek Auditorium – the doors closed to keep the media out. I sat in one of the first few rows – mesmerized and captivated–by this simple man, of inexplicable aura. I have seen God in him and can revere him more. Just hope that he doesn’t succumb to the political pressure and lose his credibility, like Dr Singh has been of late.

As I am going to upload this bit, comes in the news that Kalam has signed the bill. I am pained, say no more.

Kimchee-ed in Korea

2006-07-18T18:14:00.000+08:00

Date :15th May 2006
Place: Seoul City

Ashi, would you like to have a live octopus for dinner tonight? I think you should try it.
A live what?
Octopus. Or you can try a raw fish. We know you can not take beef and pork.
Urr…ummm…uhh……well Mr. Hong, I would…I would like to excuse myself, I don’t think I can take anything live. Isn’t the octopus gonna be running all over the plate?
No, we will help you. Would you like to try. You are a young man, I think you should try.
Well…lets keep that for my next visit, I’ll take anything light, you guys can go ahead, I don’t mind giving you company.

Something moved in my stomach when I heard about the live octopus. Instead of running down the spine, it was the stomach the chill ran down to. It was not easy to imagine eating something that’s live. Probably such delicacies are available in Singapore as well, but I had never got so close to eating anything raw before.

I had travelled to the Daejon province in the morning and we stopped by a vegetarian restaurant for lunch. It was a buffet and I was told that there are more than 100 different food items were available. Though I don’t know to describe what I ate, it truly was a heavenly experience. I had one more strong reason to be deeply impressed by the Korean lifestyle and culture. I immediately thought about how USA is finding ways to fight child obesity and here was what the oriental culture was to offer – a healthy lifestyle with such a food. Aping the west isn’t always a sign of progress, is it? Anyway, the dinner was going to be an experience of a life time. I had once had a raw salmon in a Sushi restaurant. I was told that it was cucumber and only after eating did I realise that I had eaten a piece of raw Salmon. Anyway, that was in Denver 2 years back. I knew I wasn’t gonna eat one tonight. We stopped by a restaurant buzzing with a lot of life ( It doesn’t get this lively in Singapore, dunno why!). The menu was in Korean, and I was clueless to what was coming. We were about eight of us, and only three others spoke English. Slowly the food started to arrive, it was a salad first and then many other dishes which I don’t quite know to describe. I was guided through the items and my chop-sticks picked only the vegetarian stuff. The food was delicious, no doubt, and I was enjoying every bit of my time. Slowly I took a few pieces of fish – many varitiey placed over shiny silvery noodle-like sea weed. It was tasty, to say the least.
Then arrived some chicken nuggets from a different restaurant, especially ordered for me, just in case I found it difficult to eat the traditional stuff.
....anyway, i gave up trying non-veg after this trip, esp after Taiwan...this post ends quite abruptly, cos i dont have time to recollect what else happened, this bit above was written on my flight back home to Singapore. Sorry if you feel you wasted ur time...

What is success?

2006-06-16T17:50:00.000+08:00

Emily Dickinson wrote:

Success is counted sweetest
By those who never succeed,
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest needs.

Now the question is how you define success. In the context of an academic setting, a straight-A’s person is successful, but can that be implied about his life as well? I just wonder if what Emily Dickinson wrote is true at all. Had it been Money, instead of success, it would have made more sense. For if I don’t have enough money that is what I would crave for. Money is counted sweetest, by those who don’t have it; to comprehend its power, you need to have felt the scarcity of it in your life. But success is a totally different ball-game. It is a very relative term. Just as Newton’s third law is not valid outside of its frame of reference, so is the case with success. It is not valid outside of one’s circumstances and environment.
To be continued...

Rated my life

2006-06-13T13:00:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Preethi and the post-lunch lethargy, I just took this test on looking at the quality of my life. Doesn't look too bad, eh! Chalega, one has to realise that there is only so much that can go wrong with one's life, beyond that everything is pure pleasure. May be I am reaching that state where I see the events around me to have little influence on me. Not that I am becoming ignorant to my circumstances, just that I can handle more crap without getting worried about dirtying my hands. There is some sense of awareness, thanks to Anto - the microsoft geek, and this awareness is helping me separate myself from the surroundings. What exactly is the progress, I will write sometime else in the distant future, but for now, its pure bliss...(atleast I am taking everything that way!)

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	8.1
Mind:	7.1
Body:	9
Spirit:	7.1
Friends/Family:	5.9
Love:	7.7
Finance:	7.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Life: Your life score is reasonably high. This means that you are on a good path. Continue doing what is working and set about to improve in areas which continue to lag. Do this starting today and you will begin to reap the benefits immediately.
Mind: Your mind score is within a healthy zone. This means you have achieved a level of mental balance and harmony consistent with living a healthy, happy life. Continue doing what works, and keep your focus. In our fast-paced world, mental clutter is all too common. Be vigilant in maintaining healthy mental function.
Body: You have an excellent body score, which means you are incredibly focused on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Continue in that focus, and your body will remain healthy and strong.
Spirit: Your spirit score is relatively high, which means you are rewarded by your beliefs. Spirituality is clearly important to do. Never let it slip, and continue to learn and grow.
Friends/Family: Your friends and family score is not bad but can be improved. Maintain your current social net, while you try to expand it. Try new things and form new friendships. You will be rewarded greatly.
Love: Your love score is in good shape, meaning that things are going well. Do all you can to maintain it, and continue to grow and move ahead.
Finance: You have a rather good financial score, which is not all that common these days. Keep doing what works. Avoid common pitfalls and save for the future. You will be glad you did.

Not too bad, not too bad, and am not too idle either, so I better get back to work.

Simply Jealous...

2006-02-03T10:52:00.000+08:00

I am jealous! And it doesn’t prick to admit this fact. Yes, I am envious of him. Just wish I could switch professions or at least seek a part time job – his job. The other day he was with a gal who looked exactly like Sania Mirza – same build, same looks and hairstyle. So enthused I got that I walked up to him to confirm if she actually was Sania. Astonishingly, being an Indian he didn’t know who Sania was! Anyway, he went about escorting her, giggling, laughing and very well aware that people are observing them. And I did what I know to do best in such situations – stare – what a creation man!
And as if that wasn’t enough, I next spotted him with a curly haired chic – Spanish looks and in great shape – whatta babe! She reminded me of my primary school crush – Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, also from Spain. And here he was again, walking alongside her, only mincing words, but enough to get her flattered and be all smiles at him. And the two hung around for almost 2 hours while I went about with my usual chores.
I see him very often, and every time he is either with our Sania or Sanchez-Vicario. They both love his company, and what a charmer he is. And they seem to do anything he asks them to do. Occasionally I also see him with a few other good looking gals. And the air always smells of mild flirtations all around.

What more could one ask for in life! So much of variety! You’d be equally jealous if you ever witnessed the scene, I betcha!

By the way, he is a fitness trainer at my gym training these gals.

5 LONG days a week :(

2006-01-26T14:57:00.001+08:00

There are seven days in a week. Today is Thursday, and I felt good waking up this morning. Guess why? ‘Cos tomorrow is Friday - the last day of the work week, and what more, I get to wear a jeans and a cool Tee to work tomorrow. A strange feeling is getting over me, a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of having run a marathon and entering its last leg. I am almost there, a few more sessions at office before I reach the colourful Friday. Oh jesus, it feels heavens when you sprinkle the colors of joy in my black and white corporate life and send me a Friday. I never feel more grateful to you, more connected to you than I feel on Fridays. An easy going black Tee which my friend gifted, a cool blue comfort fit jeans and my Nike shoes.

Life doesn’t get any better!

TUM aur HUM

2006-01-20T11:09:00.000+08:00

Bahut kuch sajoya tha,
Kya haseen kwaab the,
Wo bhi kya din the
Jab hum tum saath the.

Subah hoti thi tumhare naam ki,
Jab tum phone kar jagaati thi
Hum kahte they sweetheart chai lao
Tum garma garam gaaliyaan sunati thi.

Phir hota tha humara duftar mein rendezvous
Sms par chalti thee apni romantic guuftgoo
Har lamha hum kehte darling I miss you
Tum poochtee jaakar papa ko bata doon?

Pyaar tumse jee jaan mai karta tha,
Par sach-much tumhare baap se bahut darta tha
Wo Buddha paaji khoonsath tha, sab ke upar gurrata tha
Meri shakal dekhte hi,Uska paara chadh jaata tha.

Haan pyaar to tumse bahut karta tha,
Par kabhi-kabhi saamne wali salma pe bhi phisalta tha
Wo humko ishaare karti thi, hum usko ghoora karte the
Isi chakkar mein, kitne ghante beeta karte the.

Nahi maine tumhe dagaa na diya,
Koi aapko ghoore to wapas ghoorna
To basic human courtesy hai
Par overnite apne diwane ko ‘sirf dost’ karaar dena
Yeh kaisi majboori hai?

“Hum hamesha achche dost the,
Mai tumhe Rahul se milwaoongi
Wharton se MBA kiya hai usne
Shadi kar main bhi US chali jaoongi”

Pata chala ki salma baju wale karim ko ishare karti thi
Bhaingii aankh thi uski, dekhti London par baat Tokyo se karti thi
Dono ki shadi hote hi, woh do bachchon ki maa ban gayi
Meri uski kahaani, shuru hone se pehle hi the end ho gayi

Aisi kya khataa thi meri, jo tumne ye din dikhlaye
Itne nakaam they kya hum, ki ab salma ke bachche kilaayen
Khair salma ko ab hum bhabhi bulate hain,
Aksar unke ghar jaate hain, samay bitate hain.

Tum jahaan raho khush raho yahi dua karte hain
Apna kya hai, tumhari kami ab kam mehsoos hoti hai
Salma Karim ke sang looking London talking Tokyo kiya karti hai
Is bahaane apne dil ki ghanti bhi tun tun tun baja karti hai.

- Mishi

Hmm...

2006-01-17T18:23:00.000+08:00

I am a firm believer in Karma, more than the God. So much so that whenever I go to a temple, I often end up just looking at the faces of the bhakt-jan, the devotees – so pious, so honest and so innocent in their eyes – seeking forgiveness and many other things beyond my comprehension. But then I immediately wonder – if I show the same honesty in what I do everyday, would I still need to go to a temple and seek forgiveness? It the people look so honest inside the four walls of a temple, how can such horrendous things still be happening in our society? Isn’t this murder and rape done by the same people who act innocent inside a temple? Well, murder and rape are two extreme cases which make good reading in the newspapers (and hence get reported); certain degree of lawlessness or ungodly acts show up in each and every moment of our lives. Why doesn’t God teach us not to honk like crazy on the roads, why doesn’t he teach us not to litter on the road, why doesn’t he teach our education reformists to do something better than telling students what to wear, why doesn’t he teach our AjTak’s and NDTV’s to show something better than political controversies, why doesn’t God teach our politicians to address issues better than Khushboo’s stand on premarital sex? And last but on a more important note, why doesn’t he teach our Aunties to talk something other than indha ponnu, andha payyian, yedho irrukei (this gal, that guy, something’s fishy).

My recent one-week visit to India was quite an experience! The city I believe to be my home was painted red – not with the New Year celebrations, but with ignorance. In the place I belonged to as a student, I felt strange. Just a bright Tee and a cell phone was all it took for the babes to gimme a stare. (Jesus, I only wish we had the same rules of cultural education when I was at college. So much attention to your attire!). But then, I would have got kicked out long back and wouldn’t be here to ponder over things! But, it was sad. It was disheartening, to say the least. The dark ages are back. There were other incidents were just aint worth a mention.

I am not a cynic or an Americanized desi – as one of my dear aunties called me. But there are few issues I do feel strongly about, because of the strong sense of attachment I have to that place, that city and that country. The concept of India, the warmth of relations, the true sense of emotions – it’s a wonderful experience – unmatched in most places on earth. With all the evils, with a corrupt bureaucracy, inept judiciary and uneducated legislature, the system still runs. There may be ignorance painted all over the town, but there is also wisdom unknown to the world, not even to the most ardent seekers. There may be lack of development – rickety roads, pathetic airports, and what not, but the people are still content. Still happy. I would not say this about many other places in the developed world. This is not a reason for us to be complacent and blind to the evils in the society, but to know that there’s a world of change we need to bring. But we can still find contentment and seek happiness from small things in life. For life is not the number of breaths you take, but it’s the moments that take your breath away. (Will Smith’s dialogue!)

Apart from all the disappointing incidents, I did meet a few people, few good people who are striving to make a change. And that negated all the negativity I had developed. I met just a handful of such people, but they were motivation enough and inspiration enough. They were doing their karma in earnest. Something which makes me ponder over what Bachchan wrote many years ago –

Timir ke raaj ka aisa
Kathin aatank chhaya hai,
Utha jo sheesh sakte they
Unhone sir jhukaya hai,
Magar vidroh ki jwala jalai kaun baitha hai
Andheri raat mein Deepak jalai kaun baitha hai?

Life goes on, and the ignorance of people is too small a thing for us to stop valuing the small but beautiful things in life.

NB: Thanks for reading, the writer is under a severe stroke of joblessness and affected by acute post-lunch idleness syndrome while working in a so-called MNC. Please pray for him.

Newspapers!

2005-12-21T14:44:00.000+08:00

India Empowered is a great series by the Indian Express. So innovative and thought-provoking are the ideas of the writers that it has made me switch loyalties from being a staunch Hindu reader to an avid Express fan. I grew up reading Vijay Lokpally and S. Dinakar and devoured whatever food for thought they provided. Just like the famous ad-line – hum Hawkins ke bina nahi chal sakte, I cannot do without Hindu! So much it is a part of my life as it is of the lives of almost all south Indians. However, of late the colour seems to be fading away, not just in the sports section where many amateurs are trying to report events without giving their perspective, but also on the front page. The published articles are doing a good job of reporting incidents, events and newsmakers, but is that all a good newspaper expected to do? Where is the critical analysis, the review and the scrutiny? It has been disappointing to say the least.

The Manjunath issue never got the media attention it deserved to get, and after people brought this issue to the media, there wasn’t much done by the Hindu. Express did a much better job by letting readers leave their comments on its website and providing a complete coverage on the episode which is available online. The same was the case with the Satyendra Dubey murder case with the Express getting the thinkers to write on the issue and addressing the tragedy in its true gravity.

In all honesty, I don’t think the rickety Indian judiciary has the muscle to nab and bring the culprits to justice even years after committing the crime. And it is here that the freedom of press becomes a very potent tool. It is a wonderful tool of the democracy which I didn’t realize till I left India. Its not everywhere in the world in the so called ‘developed’ countries that people get to say what they wish and feel to be right. Therefore, freedom of press is a tool we should value and make full use of in India in order to complement the impotency of our judiciary. We cannot let the people lose focus on issues which matter to them. Both Dubey and Manjunath issues have asked some startling questions on the value system and work culture in corporate India. We belong to the same generation and a similar league as these two upright men who lost their lives for a purpose. Don’t you and I have a purpose and a dream for our India?

Beautiful Stranger

2005-11-25T13:07:00.000+08:00

Saans chalti hai tujhe chalna padega hi musafir – wrote the legendary Bachchan. How true, and how often these words echo in my mind. I remember meeting a graceful lady on my trip to Delhi in early 2003. Those were my undergraduate days of college, when the toil for working towards a cherished dream was still on, but my academics had pulled me down to the state where I was questioning my abilities. I was beginning to believe that I would be just another guy. ‘Just another’ – a tag I have never been able to accept and would do anything under the sky to shrug it off. Not being the best doesn’t hurt as much as being just another kid on the block does. Though I have made attempts to be the best (which has not been the case most of the times), I have also felt a sadistic pleasure in being the worst.

An interesting incident comes to my mind – when in the third semester in college, we had this gruesome course of Math with Laplace and Fourier transforms, and there was another course in Fluid Mechanics. Though both are very analytical and real-world subjects, I could only appreciate the nuances of Fluid Mechanics. Fourier never made sense to me, and I was a major flop in the course, to the tune of having an internal score of 12 out of 50 in as many as 4 assessments. Usually, there are only three assessments, but looking at my whopping scores, I was given another chance in the fourth one. And I did what I knew best – be an extreme – got the least score! Dr. Venkatesan was absolutely pained by me.

On the other hand, in Fluid Mechanics, I was appreciating the concepts, as much as the class politics, and getting more and more engrossed by Karamegam’s charisma. Eventually, I cracked the final exam and was one of the two guys in the whole class to get an S-grade! That was a satisfying performance. And in the Math course, thanks to a timely piece of advice from my friend Mathurai – something for which I shall ever be grateful to him, I did something much better! Two days before the exam I told myself that it was a test of a lifetime and I could not fail in it. That’s perhaps one of the few occasions I have been absolutely honest with myself. All tensed up in the examination hall, I looked at the last question on the paper – a 2-D heat transfer problem, yes, I knew to solve it. Then another, and another. In the next 90minutes I had solved all the long answer questions, assuring atleast 80% credit. The short answer problems were relatively easy, and by the end of three hours, I knew I had done reasonably well to get around 90% score. Whether I would still pass the course or not was another question mark, but I had done my bit. Outside the exam hall, a few of my friends were discussing the exam, commenting that it was not an easy paper. I could only nod my head, for I really didn’t know what an easy exam would be like; this was only my first real encounter with Fourier and Laplace. And I seemed to have enjoyed my first stint! I kicked myself for being so damn ignorant about the subject. What I could have easily covered over one entire semester had to be mastered in about 72 hours time. But that’s what I am all about.

At the end of this saga, I got an E-grade in the subject, something which pulled my GPA to around 7.8. An S-grade, or even a cup for that matter would have made it 8.7!!! What an irony! The only consolation was that many guys with an internal score of 30 upon 50 couldn’t clear the subject! And I came from nowhere to do well on the finals. It was an experience of a lifetime, and a notorious distinction too. Anyone asking who Ashish Mishra was would get a prompt reply – “Dai, that guy who got ALL the grades in one semester!” And the other bloke would immediately nod his head, acknowledging that he knew me.

It looks funny now, but it wasn’t the case back then. I would only be fair to say that I was disappointed with myself. The more I wished to get out of the rat race, the worse my conditions got. I was no more among the top bracket of the class, something that was taken for granted when at school. I was only getting from average to worse. It was with this gloomy outfit of my mind that I met Manjula Dwivedi - the lady on my trip to Delhi. There was a glimmer of hope; I was going to Delhi to receive an award, but was never distant from the realities of life – my academics. And there were a couple of nagging issues as well. Once the bucket is full, it tips. That’s what happened when I spoke to her. The shy and the quiet me suddenly had so much to tell to a stranger who I had known only for a few minutes. And patiently she listened, didn’t attempt to stop me, just listened. They say you shouldn’t stop your friend from crying in front of you, it can relieve the person from his distress. And that’s exactly what she did to me. Listened to all that I had to say. And relieved I felt, so much.

I am sure I may not see her ever again in my life; neither is she a major surfer to stumble over this piece of writing. I hardly remember her face and may not recognize her even if I were to spot her in future. But her words of wisdom still keep buzzing in my ears, something for which I shall ever be grateful for. We spoke for a very short time, and there was nothing new that she told me, no startling revelations that she made. But at that stage of life, those words were strong enough to change my outlook. “Life is too short to have regrets, just move on” - were her magic words.

Thank you dear stranger, you came in when I needed someone - someone to tell me that I could still be the best, someone to tell me that I needed to trust myself, someone to assure me that I was still worthy of the targets I had set for myself! The distance I covered from the day I met you to today, for whatever little I achieved since then, I owe a share of it to you.

Thank you beautiful stranger.